LIFE AFTER HOME begins long before they leave

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I attended the Life After Home event with Dr. Tim Clydesdale over at Grace Point on Sunday night. It was really good. As I walked out afterward someone asked what stood out to me. Immediately I knew what it was. Didn’t have to think about it. Didn’t have to choose between my top two. The thing that stood out to me was that the best thing to do to help kids make wise and good choices, choices to pursue to Jesus when there is no one around making them do that — the best thing was . . .

for parents to live out their faith at home day in and day out as the kids are growing up.

Think about that. I think many parents think we have to make our kids go to camp, read the bible, pray, go, do, go and do. But the real burden lies on us as parents.

What are we doing? Is it in alignment with our words and the message of the Gospel? When Clydesdale said that I went into deep self-reflective mode! What have I been doing? What do I need to be doing? What do I have to stop doing? How are my actions and attitudes matching the message of Jesus? When my boys look at me, what do they see?

Finally, how much of what we are doing is spoon feeding our kids instead of teaching them to feed themselves? How do they begin to make their faith their own, instead of living in the shadow of my faith? How do we encourage them to actively engage in a walk of faith instead of going through the motions of accommodating my faith and wishes for them?

Bette and I are trying. Many parents I know are trying. But the rate that kids are walking away makes me think much of what we are doing is not working.

Parents, we are only stewards of the souls of our kids. One day we’ll give account for what we have done or not done to disciple them. I fear much of the burden will fall not on what we told them, but on how we lived in front of them.

If you want to hear the discussion for the “Live After Home” event click here.

LIFE AFTER HOME: How do we equip our kids for what is next?

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Recently I read an article that was startling. It was predicting that in the next 20 years the political and religious landscape of our nation will be radically different. Different in a hostile kind of way! Hostile in a way that would not favor a Christian worldview like you and I have experienced.

I really don’t know how accurate it was but it got me thinking. I began to think about my sons and the world they will live in when they are adults. Let’s be honest. I’m done. I have 20 to 30 years at best left in me. Any changes that take place between now to my last breathe will have limited impact on my life. But how will those changes impact my sons?

We are already experiencing an alarming exit of our 20-something’s from the church. They are walking away from the faith they were raised in at a rate we have never seen before. If they are walking away now, at a time when it is still relatively easy to claim Christ and openly have a walk of faith, what will happen when the surrounding culture is openly hostile toward them?

So I began to wonder what Bette and I needed to do to equip our sons to live in a hostile environment. I realized that with our oldest at age 12 we already have a limited window of time to influence him and help form a biblical worldview that will assist him to interact with the culture around him and be salt and light, not run from it or become like it!

One tool that has come across my desk is an event at a sister church in our area, Grace Point Church here in Newtown. “Life After Home: A conversation about releasing children to their life purpose” is scheduled for May 31 from 6pm to 7:30pm. Pastor Steve Johnson will be hosting Dr. Tim Clydesdale in an interview format that discusses preparing our children for that day when they will leave home and be on their own.

For more information, check out their website at

Hope to see you there!

Sexual Addiction Resources

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90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn on-line.

33% of adult web sites are visited by women.

For every McDonalds there are 3 adult porn shop.

At 13.3 billion, the 2006 revenues of the sex and porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined.

If these stats are real to you, if you are trapped in sexual sin and haven’t been able to free yourself, now is the time to seek help. Contact me at my CCC email address. We’ll work to find you the help you need. Look over these resources to see if any of them might address your need. There are so many more than these. Let me know if none of these meet your need. — for those addicted to porn as well as family and friends. Testimonies and resources. — internet software to help protect you from porn. — online workshops for safe internet usage for families is only one of the many helpful resources at this site. — a site developed by a recovering sex addict. Stories, tools for recovery. Great page on stats re: the porn industry. — This list of web sites and ministries is developed by Randy Alcorn. There are hundreds of sites listed ranging from modest clothing options, post-abortion ministries, pro-life ministries to sexual addictions.

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