Psalm 139:1-6 personal paraphrase

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For my personal devotions I often paraphrase a passage of scripture. Today’s was Psalm 139. 

Lord, you have searched me. You have been to the depths of my heart — seen the fears and doubts, know the envy, jealousy and pride that is so deeply rooted there. You are not fooled by the hollow words I say to cover up the darkness of my heart. 

Psalm 139:1-5You know all that I do. Even from where you are you know all my thoughts. You know my words, actions, attitudes and thoughts. 

You know everything about my life. Nothing has escaped your attention. It’s not that you are just aware of my life — you are intimately aware of it!

You know me better than I do myself. Even before I have formed the words on my tongue you know the heart attitudes those words express.

You have cupped your hands around me, before and behind me. You have surrounded me with your presence.

Could all this really be true? How is it possible? God, your power and compassion is too much for me to comprehend. I can’t grasp it. I admit I don’t fully understand. 

 

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Who Am I?

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I recently read David’s prayer in 1 Chronicles 17 when he learned that God was not going to let him build the Temple but He was going to establish David’s family and allow one of his sons to build the Temple. It inspired me. I have deep feelings about being a pastor — all mixed up feelings. Inadequacy, fear, pride, ambition (good & bad), awe, humility, just to name a few!

So after reading David’s prayer I was inspired to write a prayer of thanksgiving about being a pastor at our church.

Who am I, O Lord God, that you have brought me this far? I come from no renown or pedigree. What do I bring to serve you that is worthy of this honor? Who am I that I would serve you in this way?

You know me. You know my weaknesses and my vain ambitions. You know how easily I could fall. How quickly I can tarnish your Name. You know how weary I become, how impatient I am, how harsh I can be. Who am I?

It is not who I am, but who You are. No other god or religion picks up men and women and dusts off their broken lives and makes them a stage a for glory.

You make a name for yourself from the people of your church. You perform the miracle of redemption in the heart of your enemies and adopt them as your children. Who is like you?

Now, O LORD, I am your servant, the shepherd of your fold in this place. Do as you wish with me, with this church. May your name be established and honored all the days of my life. When people look at me may they be attracted to You. May my life reflect you and honor you till you call me home.

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