1. Our associate pastor Greg is warming up in the bullpen.

2. Debbie and the worship team keeps playing when I come up to take my place on my cushy chair.

3. People spend the whole time I’m preaching filling out their connection cards.

4. When I have one of those interactive sessions and no one knows what I’m talking about.

5. My cell phone starts ringing, and I answer it.

6. When I dismiss the Jr High’ers for their class and their parents go, too.

7. Kate Domke and other mothers of little babies bring their babies into the service and pinch their babies five minutes after I begin to speak.

8. Marino and the ushers are handing out refunds.

9. People begin asking Larry Newman to share his iPad during the message.

10. Willits and the A/V team begin putting messages in the screen behind me when I’m not looking to keep people engaged!