I fear man. That is all there is to it. I fear man.
It has been a theme in my life for – well, all my life. I could go back to various events and relationships in my past and try to hang the blame there. But that doesn’t really change anything. It might find the original source of my fear but the blame for still struggling with this stays with me. I am the one that has allowed that fear to continue to be present in my life. AND I HATE IT.
I’ve been reading and studying and developing tools to help me with this sin. Recently I began to read a book that I read several years ago. When People Are Big and God is Small is packed with profound truth. Insights that are so true that I often think he is talking about me when I read them. And when I read them I think, “There are others who need to hear this and know about this!”
So I’ll be sharing some excerpts from time to time that really resonate with me. If they do so for you as well, say so. Why impacts you? Leave your comments so we can grow together.
One observation that I came away with after reading this chapter was that when we fear other people, the truth of God becomes irrelevant in our life. God’s Word loses it’s impact. We step away from what is true and into self-deceit, which eventually will end in sorrow for us.
Excerpts from Chapter 3: “People Will Reject Me”
“Sometimes we would prefer to die for Jesus than to live for him. If someone had the power to kill us for our profession of faith, I imagine that most Christians would say, “Yes, I am a believer in Jesus Christ,” even if it meant death. The threat of torture might make people think twice, but I think most Christians would acknowledge Christ. However, if making a decision for Jesus means that we might spend years being unpopular, ignored, poor, or criticized, then there are masses of Christians who temporarily put their faith on the shelf. “Death is not imminent, so why hurry into such a rash decision?” “There will be time later to get things straight with God.”
In other words, kill me, but don’t keep me from being liked, appreciated, or respected.” (pg. 39)
“Teenagers are constantly making unwise decision because of it [fear of man]. Adults, too, look to people for their cues. We wait for others to take initiatives of love. We spend too much time wondering what others may have thought about our outfit or the comment we made in small group meeting. We see opportunities to testify about Christ, but we avoid them. We are more concerned about looking stupid (a fear of people) than we are about acting sinfully (fear of the Lord). (pg. 40)
“Paul was not a people-pleaser. He was a people-lover, and because of that he did not change his message according to what others might think. Only people-lovers are able to confront. Only people-lovers are not controlled by other people.” (pg. 41)
“People are our idol of choice. They pre-date Baal, money, and power. Like all idols, people are created things, not the Creator (Rom. 1:25), and they do not deserve our worship. They are worshipped because we perceive that they have power to give us something. We think they can bless us.” (pg. 45)
(Referring to the Israelites as they came out of Egypt) “God, they thought, would not be able to keep pace with their desires, and so they looked for blessing and satisfaction in something they felt they could control. They wanted to do it their way rather than God’s. That is the height of rebellion.” (pg. 45)
“We never expect that using people to meet our desires leaves us enslaved to them.” (pg. 46)
“What we fear shows our allegiances. It shows where we put our trust. It shows who is big in our lives.” (pg. 47)
Jul 19, 2011 @ 15:23:37
I found often in my life I am seeking the praise of men who shouldn’t have that right. People will reject me and that is true. But some people seem to matter more to me than others. Even when a person falls short I’ve justified their weakness. It’s sad because I hold God to a hypocritical standard I myself know I could never keep. I think of Jonah when I say this, a man who knew God would forgive him even after his disobedience. When I think about this I envision my father. I desire so strongly to receive his praise and his love I forget there is a greater Father. Likewise, when I try to be the best son I fail because my desire is still my own needs and not that of my father or the Father. Then, I realize there is a better Son, Jesus Christ. When I focus on such things as my father’s praise, I do not act in a godly manner to get it nor do I receive the praises I want. My fear of men is not justified because the only true fear I should have is God, Himself. And even than, My God is not a god of anger like Aries but the only true God of Love, the only true Father, and my only Creator. I know this but I do not know this because in my actions I seldom have the self-control to act this knowledge out as well as I wish I could.
Its hard to say which men I truly fear because as I think about it I just try to get my way. I am willing to take on pain and long suffering only if I see personal gain. I think if I focus on loving people as Paul did, regardless my feelings or well-being for the situation, God would reward me ten-fold.
This is a great topic that is deep and far reaching into the nature of sin and selfish desire too. But I am at work and this is a topic for nights, coffee, and lots of conversing.
Jul 20, 2011 @ 19:00:18
I wanted to reply to this post but wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. And let me preface this reply by saying it is about YOU, and no one else. After our dialogue about JamieTVWM today, I had clarity on what I want to say here. I know we disagree on Jamie’s writing style. What I like about her is the no holds barred brutal honesty. She doesn’t try to be a people pleaser. In fact, she can be down right offensive…. yet I find that to be soothing. When I say “I acted like a jerk today”, she says: “I acted like a Bitch today”. I’m sure those blog posts aren’t read at many of the supporting church services, but it’s from the heart. The fact that she almost bends backward to not be a people pleaser is what has drawn her such a crowd.
But this reply is about YOU.
Tim Smith!
And that is what I like about you as well. You may think you are more of a people pleaser than you want to be but I don’t see you that way. I love your openness in the pulpit. I love how you admit your faults and suggest that we, together, work on overcoming our common sin issues. You don’t preach at us but with us. I like how you step on my toes & I hope you do it more often. If I want feel good sermon, I’ll flip on Osteen. I love how you and I can disagree openly & we both hold our ground anyway.
We all fall into the trap of wanting to be a people pleaser, but you have made great progress in denting that demon.